and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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