It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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