If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
