did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
