Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
