i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
