Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
