i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
where are my eyebrows?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
