Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
