I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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