so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
