I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
