there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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