I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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