I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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