I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
