when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize