After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
