no, he came in my armpit
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
