I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize