The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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