I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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