Christians are straight up FREAKS
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize