you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
