How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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