I want to have your abortion
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize