And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
...so i touched it.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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