I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize