Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
