yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
