On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
