My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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