The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
