I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
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