my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
