I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
