yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
