it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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