but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Found the puke drawer
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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