Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
