Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize