and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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