Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
