I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
