Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
