The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
