End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
