How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
