His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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