Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
