Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i now understand why vodka
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
