My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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