I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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