sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Drake has all the answers
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
