so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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