Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
