billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
