I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
did i just pee glitter
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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