R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
