I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
